Hard to Receive Correction?

Do you ever hear something and wonder why it causes such a deep stirring way down inside?

I was listening to a financial advisor/teacher the other day and had a major revelation. She was listing things that one needs to do to change one's life in relation to money in order to begin to generate and handle more of it.

It felt like she was slapping me, condemning me for being such a bad money-handler. She was really just factually teaching some action steps to take.

The feeling of resistance stopped me in my tracks. She doesn't even know me. I was listening to her on a CD, to a program which she teaches and markets to people like you and me who are trying to improve ourselves. She has my best interest at heart; she is trying to help me.

So why did it feel to me to be so BAD? Why did I resist so strongly her directions about things to do to improve myself when that is what I really want in the first place? The answer that came was a revelation.

Here is the first part of the revelation:
I realized that I have, for all my life, defined myself to be BAD, especially when it comes to money and the acquiring and handling of it. To hear someone tell me I need to change something only confirms to my heart that I really am bad. It stirs this really deep, emotional, gut-wrenching emotion inside me. I don't want to hear it or feel that bad so I ignore it when I do.

Because here is the other part of the revelation:
I have spent my entire life covering up the defined to be BAD part of me by working REALLY HARD to make myself look GOOD. I have believed that without this appearance of goodness I couldn't be approved by my parents, my family, my friends. And I needed their approval in order to find approval for myself. Of course that never really came because underneath I still defined myself as BAD.

Amazing how things change when you finally see them!

Now I no longer have to define myself as BAD. In fact, the relationship with Jesus has made my heart GOOD. It has also given me permission to be ME! Special! Unique! Amazing guy! Self-approving!

So now instruction for improvement is welcomed, received in the intent it is given, to HELP me. Not to condemn. When all that false emotional stuff is gone, the growth can really start to happen.

Renounce the lies about yourself. Come grow with me. Be your special, unique, amazing self!

Blessings,

Dr Jon